Of course he was, or he never could have pulled off that career-making role on The Jeffersons.  Who can forget that very special episode where Thomas and Weezie sat down to write the Declaration of Independence from their deeeeluxe apartment in the sky?

You would think Kirstie Alley’s boyfriend would just say this to her, rather than venting to Google.

Yes, he has them tailored with American Cheese (just not the White American Cheese flava-flav).

And before anyone starts claiming this is, as D Ali G would say, “racialism” check out this old Whoogle. http://whoogles.com/?p=289

We would not recommend it, although if you must munch on punctuation, a period is much safer than a question mark, which tends to get lodged in your esophagus and can create a choking hazard. What? You are not talking about that kind of period?  Great Odin’s Raven, you are one sick puppy.

Then what are hippopotamuses?  Or is it hippopotami?  Either way, I am guessing they are just fat succubuses. Or is it succubi?

Upon seeing this Whoogle, you can’t help but imagine Chewbacca braying at a shifty little ewok and preparing to use Han Solo’s light saber in a deviant manner. And if this made it into the DVD extras, it also explains why every hillbilly who claims to have been abducted by a UFO says they were subjected to an anal probe on the mothership.

According to noted seaman Jacque-Off Cousteau, this is only part of the reason. While whale sperm accounts for 69% of the ocean’s unsavory salty flavor, the remaining 31% comes from the leftovers of sex on the beach.

Hello?  Is this the Alzheimer’s Hotline?  Could you give me the number I just dialed?  Who is this? Where is my freaking pizza?

A nod* to certain brothers traveling in Thailand…enjoy the $5 massages, but consider this pearl of Whoogle wisdom (and also consider STDs) before answering the question: You no want happy ending!?

*I say “nod” rather than “shout out” because the consensus of a quick poll of my 4 friends was that giving a shout out requires having skin that is at least a dark shade of pasty…apparently albino shoutouts = awkward.

One simple explanation might be that typing a stupid question into Google is impossible with two handfuls of tangy citrus. Or, maybe you are just wasted away again in Margaritaville.